Never One To Leave
by leafeater
Summary: Since returning from his parents' house, Remus has been angry and depressed. Then something happens to push his friendship with Sirius to the breaking point. Can be considered a sequel to "Another Word For You" or a stand-alone.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer - You know the drill. You don't seriously think I created Harry Potter, do you? Give me a break, I'm not that smart. No, these characters are the sole property of J. Rowling and a number of publishing companies.   
  
A/N - Well, I took a night off. I thought I'd earned it.  
  
A lot of people said they wished I'd included a bit more emotion in the last chapter of "Another Word For You," so that's actually been the inspiration for this story. I hope you like it.  
  
NEVER ONE TO LEAVE  
  
"I'm telling you, he's not okay." Sirius Black slid onto the bench next to his friend James Potter, his eyes still on the Quidditch practice in progress.  
  
"He says he's fine," James protested. "And Madam Pomfrey checked him out of hospital three days ago. You're just worrying too much, like you always do."  
  
It had been nearly two weeks since Sirius had returned Remus to Hogwarts from his parents' house, where he'd been spending the Christmas holiday. It had been Remus' first time staying with them - he'd grown up in a muggle orphanage - and his father had been dangerously abusive. Fortunately, Remus' injuries had been relatively minor, and he'd been released early from the hospital wing on the condition that he get plenty of rest. Sirius had taken this to heart and had made it his personal mission to see that Remus did not have to lift a finger unnecessarily. James found the whole thing a bit amusing.  
  
"You didn't see him," Sirius said shortly, his eyes tracing the Seeker's path in the air. Sirius was the alternate Seeker for the Gryffindor team and was supposed to be studying Faye Walsh's technique, but he couldn't keep his mind off his friend. "When I went to pick him up, James…he was so…"  
  
"You told me, Sirius," James interrupted. "It sounded like he was a lot more together than you were. I mean, he wasn't the one breaking everything he could get his hands on, was he?"  
  
Sirius sighed. "He forgave his father, James. I mean…how could he have?"  
  
"Look." James turned to face Sirius. "That's his decision, Padfoot. I know it's not what you'd wanted, to be honest I'd like to see the scumbag behind bars too. But that's not our responsibility. That's for Remus to decide. All we have to decide is that we'll never let anyone hurt him again."  
  
"It seems like every time I promise him no one will hurt him, someone does." Sirius shook his head. "I can't promise him anything."  
  
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Peter, James, Remus and Sirius gathered in their usual spot before the Gryffindor common room fire that evening. James and Sirius were playing Exploding Snap, but they didn't really know how to play so they mostly just spelled out dirty words with the cards. Then, when the word they'd spelled exploded, they shouted it out. Remus, who hadn't mastered a few of the charms they'd been taught last term, was practicing Banishing and Summoning. Peter was sucking on a quill and reading about simple culinary spells.   
  
"Okay," Peter said after a moment. "I think I've got it." He said an incantation, and a moment later a plate of raw bacon appeared before him.   
  
"Great, Pete," James said absently. "Now you'll just have to get that cooked."  
  
"Hang on a moment." Sirius reached over and separated a couple of bacon strips. He placed them on top of the dirty word he'd spelled.   
  
"What…?"  
  
"Shhh…"  
  
The word exploded, the bacon sizzled. "Accio bacon!" Remus yelled, and the bacon whizzed towards him.  
  
"Hey!" Sirius protested. Remus grinned and popped the bacon in his mouth. "Good one, mate."  
  
Annoyed, Peter shoved the book away. "Let's start planning the next full moon, you guys."  
  
"Pete, it's a week away," Remus protested.  
  
"I know, which is why we need to think about it now," Peter insisted. "You'll get all moody and depressed in a few days, and then we won't be able to talk about anything at all."  
  
Remus was indignant. "I will not get moody and depressed!"  
  
"Nah, he's right, Moony," James said. "You always get weird right before the full moon. Occupational hazard of being a werewolf, I guess, but you can be a lot to take."  
  
"Really?" Remus' voice was icy, but only Sirius seemed to notice. He looked up in alarm.  
  
"Oh definitely," Peter continued. "You're a right old pain in the arse." He grinned, amused at himself.   
  
Remus stood so suddenly his books fell to the floor. "Fine. Tell you what then, why don't you all just not bother this month? Go make friends with someone a little easier to take!" He stormed off upstairs to the dormitory. The other three stared after him.  
  
After a few moments Peter spoke. "I guess I miscalculated."  
  
"Yeah, a lot," James glared at him.   
  
"Oh, stop it," Sirius said irritably to James. "You provoked him."  
  
"I 'provoked him'?" James asked incredulously. "Come on, Sirius, Rem never acts like that."  
  
"The full moon," Sirius said coldly, "is eight days away. Remus isn't affected until it's three days away. That's the way it's always been. Which means something else is upsetting him, and since you don't believe it could be the incident with his father, I'm gonna say it's you." He turned away and stalked upstairs.   
  
There was a long silence.   
  
Finally Peter spoke. "What else gets moody for no reason, apart from werewolves?"  
  
James snorted. "Idiots."  
  
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"Remy?"  
  
Sirius approached the bed slowly. There was no sound, but the hangings were closed.  
  
"Remy, I'm coming in."  
  
He pulled back the hangings. Remus was sitting on the bed, legs crossed, chin in his hands, his face expressionless.  
  
"Hey, talk to me," Sirius sat down, but Remus scooted away from him.  
  
"Go away, Sirius."  
  
"Why?" Sirius demanded. "I wasn't saying that stuff, it was Peter and James, and they don't mean it anyway."  
  
"Who cares?" Remus demanded. "I'm sick of them, and I'm especially sick of you. Get out of here."  
  
"Remy…"  
  
"And don't call me that!"  
  
"Fine!" Sirius was mad now. "Look, I don't know what your problem is lately, but you can't just throw away a friendship without a reason. So if it's really what you want, Remus, I'll walk out of here and we'll end this right now, but I'm not bloody going until you tell me why. Why you don't want James and Peter around anymore, why you never talk around us, why you're bellowing at me and why you all of a sudden hate me."  
  
He swallowed the lump that was rising in his throat and continued. "You know, after you got back, when you were in the hospital wing, I stayed every night with you. I stole James' invisibility cloak to sneak in, and I'd curl up at the foot of your bed and stay until sunrise. I was so afraid for you."  
  
Remus looked like he might say something, but Sirius cut him off.   
  
"I stole a broom from a shop so I could get to your house and find you, Remus. I could've gone to prison for that. As it is I have to pay a fine. I spent three years learning to become an Animagus for you. When you were having all those nightmares about your brother, I stayed with you every night. And just now, downstairs, I yelled at Peter and James for you, not because I actually understand, but because I can't imagine ever not being on your side. I'd do anything for you, Remus, I'd even give up my best friend in the world, but you've got to tell me why!"  
  
Exhausted from his tirade, Sirius sat down on the bed and buried his face in his hands. His shoulders shook with sobs. After a moment he felt a hand on his arm.  
  
"Sirius."  
  
He shook his head, unable to get his emotions in check.  
  
"Sirius, I love you."  
  
Then he felt Remus' arms around him, pulling him down, and they were lying in each other's arms. Sirius buried his head in Remus' chest and felt his friend rub his back softly. "I'm sorry, Sirius, I love you."  
  
"Love you too," Sirius mumbled, starting to drift off in the comfort and security of his friend's embrace. Whatever was wrong with Remus, it could be dealt with in the morning. They'd both feel better after a night's sleep. 


	2. The Task

Disclaimer - You know the drill. You don't seriously think I created Harry Potter, do you? Give me a break, I'm not that smart. No, these characters are the sole property of J. Rowling and a number of publishing companies.   
  
A/N - Well, almost everyone had the same question: "Is this going to be slash?" "Will Remus and Sirius hook up?" My answer:  
  
Not directly. I leave my stories purposely ambiguous (for the most part) so you can enjoy it as romance or just very sweet closeness between best friends. So read it however you want. But I can promise/warn you that there will be no overt sexual stuff, no romantic kissing (maybe a nice kiss on the forehead) and even though they have a tendency to sleep in the same bed, nothing more intense than snuggling is going to happen there. All the close interpersonal stuff will be emotional, they're not going to get any closer physically than they already have. Hope everyone's okay with that, if not…well, too bad. It's my story grin  
  
Glad I didn't lose all my readers on my day off!  
  
NEVER ONE TO LEAVE  
  
But Remus did not sleep.  
  
What had made him say such terrible things to Sirius? He gazed down fondly at the tousle-haired boy nestled into the crook of his arm. Sirius, who'd always been there for him, who'd gone out of his way to befriend Remus and to see that he was always happy and protected. I shouldn't take my temper out on him.  
  
He had been pretty temperamental ever since the start of term, he realized. Ever since returning from his parents. Forgiving his father for what had happened was one thing, but Remus was finding it hard to put it out of his mind.  
  
It's not fair, he now thought angrily. Peter has a family, James has a family. Sirius has a family, and he's throwing it away. None of them understand, they don't know what it's like to have no one.  
  
And he felt bitter. Why should he grow up all alone, double-cursed with lycanthropy and solitude? Why was it that Sirius Black was the first person to ever love him?   
  
Damn, Remus thought furiously. No matter how he thought about it, it was a contradiction. He couldn't hate Sirius, his first and most loyal friend, but how could he overlook the fact that his supposed best friend was tossing out the window the one thing Remus wanted most - a family?  
  
I tried so hard, Remus thought. I could not have tried harder. I put up with him hitting me, with the drunkenness, I did everything I could, and in the end I forgave him so we could be a family in the future someday. If I'd stayed any longer I might have died.  
  
He shivered, knowing it was true.  
  
Looking down at the boy sleeping peacefully in his arms, he whispered, "I love you, Sirius. But I hate that you're giving up something I'll never have."  
  
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The next day it rained. Sirius had woken alone in Remus' bed, but the boy was nowhere to be found. Having planned on talking out whatever was bothering Remus, Sirius was annoyed by his disappearance. He was stalking about the castle huffily when he was ambushed by a gang of Slytherins, headed by his cousin Bella.   
  
The Slytherins strung themselves out in the hallway, leering at Sirius, who was in no mood for this. "What?" he demanded, looking from one to the next in exasperation.  
  
Bella stepped forward. "Sirius."  
  
"What?" Sirius repeated. "I haven't done anything to any of you in weeks. Why don't you bugger off?"  
  
Bella laughed, an annoying high-pitched squeal. She was a year older than Sirius and, more importantly, she was in good favor with his parents. Bella had power within the Black family in a way Sirius never would.  
  
"Sirius," Bella repeated evenly, "we have a…task…for you."  
  
"A task?" Sirius stared. "Is this for real?"  
  
"Young Severus Snape…"  
  
"He's my age!" Sirius interrupted, annoyed at Bella's pretension.   
  
Bella continued as though she hadn't heard. "Snape suggested to me that there may be something odd about your little friend Lupin."  
  
"Well, Snape probably thinks anyone who showers is odd," Sirius said evenly. "He'll adjust."  
  
Bella's eyes glittered. "Regulus told me everything, Sirius." A small dark haired boy stepped out from behind a larger, burlier Slytherin. Sirius recognized his younger brother.  
  
"You sodding…" Sirius lunged, but felt himself restrained as the burly Slytherin howled "Impedimenta!" His mind was racing. How much had he told Regulus? How much would Bella know?   
  
"He's a werewolf, Sirius," Bella hissed. "Do you know what the ministry would do with that? A werewolf at Hogwarts. And it would be so easy to frame him for something, Sirius…"  
  
Sirius snapped. He grabbed his cousin by the shoulders and shoved her up against the stone wall. "What do you want?" He growled.  
  
Bella laughed. "Well now this is a contradiction, isn't it? You've got my back to the wall, you're bigger and stronger than me…why, anyone walking in on this would think you were in charge here, wouldn't they?"  
  
Sirius' fingers dug into her shoulders, and the smile disappeared from her face. "Fine. Let go, and I'll tell you what your task is."  
  
Sirius let go of her and backed away, trembling with a strange combination of rage and terror.  
  
"Severus wants to know what Lupin is, and you will tell him." Bella grinned ferally.   
  
Sirius' mind reeled. "No," he said, trying to make sense of things. "What kind of threat is that, Bella? Either I tell him or you will? That doesn't make sense. I'm not doing it. If he's going to find out either way, you tell him."  
  
Bella snickered. "You misunderstood me, Sirius. Either you tell Severus…or I tell everyone."  
  
Sirius felt a lump rise in his throat. "No…" he whispered. "Why? Just because you hate me?"  
  
"Because you're a disgrace!" Regulus snapped suddenly. "A Black fraternizing with a werewolf? It's shameful! It's…"  
  
"Shut up," Bella snapped irritably at him. "Your friendship with the wolf has to end, Sirius. He has to be driven away from you, at all costs. He has to hate you, understand? Or the entire school finds out exactly what he is.   
  
She turned and stalked away. The other Slytherins glowered at Sirius and followed. Only when they were around the corner and out of sight did he allow himself to sink to the floor and cry.  
  
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Severus Snape glared at the Gryffindor. "What do you want?"  
  
"Nothing," Sirius said truthfully. "Bella sent me."  
  
"Ahhh…" Snape grinned, "You're here to tell me what's going on with Lupin?"  
  
"Why do you want to know?" Sirius growled. "What are you going to do to him?"  
  
"That really depends on what he's hiding, doesn't it?" Snape said, leaning back casually in his chair. "I might try to get him expelled. I don't like him any more than I like you, Black." Noticing the look on Sirius' face, he said, "And I know you have to tell me, Black. Bella said she'd find a way to get it out of you."  
  
Sirius glared at the other boy, hating him. "I'll show you. Friday night. Meet me by the Whomping Willow."  
  
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Sirius arrived back in the dormitory well after curfew that night. Remus was sitting up in bed. He managed a strained "Hello."  
  
"Remy…" Sirius whispered. Remus looked at his friend more closely and noticed that he'd been crying. He was pale and his eyes were red. He looked completely drained.  
  
Forgetting his own concerns, Remus stood and helped Sirius over to his bed. "What happened, Sirius?"  
  
"Remy," Sirius said again. He seemed hardly aware that Remus was there. "I'm so sorry Remy…I love you so much…" He curled up on the bed, crying again.   
  
"Hey, what happened?" Remus gently wrapped his arms around his friend. "Shhh…whatever it is, Sirius, it's okay. We'll get through it."  
  
Sirius leaned against his best friend, taking shelter in those arms for what he knew might be the last time. "Remy, promise me something?"  
  
"Anything," Remus whispered, heartbreakingly gentle.  
  
"No matter what happens, remember…Sirius swallowed hard. "Remember I love you, okay? I would never do anything to hurt you."  
  
"I know," Remus whispered, holding Sirius tighter. "Of course I know that, Sirius. You're my best friend."  
  
Sirius sobbed.  
  
"Shhh…go to sleep, Sirius," Remus whispered. "Everything's all right." 


	3. Betrayal

Disclaimer - You know the drill. You don't seriously think I created Harry Potter, do you? Give me a break, I'm not that smart. No, these characters are the sole property of J. Rowling and a number of publishing companies.   
  
A/N -   
  
Versipellis - You ask and I deliver. Check it out.  
  
SP-in-Sirius-Denial - No kidding. I've seen this one done by a lot of people as "Sirius screws up in anger and Remus has to forgive him," but I wanted to add an original twist. I'm glad you like it.  
  
Chrisoriented - Yes, I wouldn't want to be in his shoes. Or dragon-hide boots. You know, whatever they wear. I doubt it's Nike.  
  
-Leaf  
  
NEVER ONE TO LEAVE  
  
Severus Snape was up at dawn on Friday. Tonight's the night, he thought gleefully. Tonight I'll find out once and for all where that skinny git goes all the time.  
  
Remus Lupin annoyed Snape more than Black and Potter combined. He was impossible to provoke. He sat in the library reading his stupid books all the time, and teachers had been bending over backward for him since the first year. It seemed Lupin was always leaving campus for some strange reason. Once, Snape remembered, his face twisting into a sneer, Lupin had talked for days about attending a Quidditch match in which his favorite teams were playing on the day of exams. The whole thing had been widely regarded as a joke - surely studious Lupin couldn't mean to miss his exams for a game of Quidditch? - and Snape mocked Lupin with the others, knowing the teachers would never stand for that kind of nonsense. But on the day exams were given, Lupin had been absent from all his classes. He'd reappeared the next day, chattering with Black, Potter, and Pettigrew about the match, and they'd all been nearly in hysterics. Snape supposed Lupin was amused at himself for getting away with it. His grades hadn't even been penalized - Lupin had always had the top marks in their year, even after that particular incident.  
  
It wasn't until this year, their fifth, that Snape had realized Lupin probably wasn't going where he said he was all the time. He'd been eavesdropping from behind the library stacks and had heard Black say "So Moony, where'll you be going this time?"  
  
"I don't know," Lupin had replied thoughtfully. "My mother was sick pretty recently, so I don't want to use that again…How about if I've got a cold?"  
  
"It's not the season for colds," Pettigrew pointed out. "No one'll buy it."  
  
"Okay, so what's it the season for?"  
  
Potter said something under his breath, and Black let out a hearty laugh. Lupin glanced around quickly, nervously. "James, for God's sake don't say that here."  
  
"Sorry," Potter sat up straighter, and Snape strained his ears to hear more. "What if you and I got in a duel or something?"  
  
"That could work," Lupin mused. "You could challenge me at lunch tomorrow, and we could say you'd…I don't know, Stupefied me down some stairs or something."  
  
Pettigrew giggled. Snape was annoyed.  
  
"Right," said Black, clearly getting into the spirit of it. "Then after you'd got back, we could make up a detention for James to do." He turned to Potter, "Say Prongs, I bet you could even get McGonagall to give you one."  
  
"Right," James rolled his eyes. "No offense Moony, but I don't like you that much."  
  
They'd talked more, but Snape hadn't hung around to listen. He'd been far to excited. So Remus Lupin was hiding something, was he? Snape ran a hand absently through his hair. Perhaps he could get the idiot expelled! The teachers certainly wouldn't be pleased to learn that Lupin had been lying to everyone for five years and sporadically skipping classes. All he needed was some kind of proof, Snape had thought eagerly, something to show to Dumbledore, and he could probably get the most irritating student in school sent packing.  
  
Coming out of his reverie, Snape stood and pulled on his robes. Calm down, he told himself sternly. You've a whole day to get through.  
  
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All too soon, it was evening.   
  
The week had passed in a blur. Sirius longed to tell Remus what he was facing, but he didn't dare. He's got to hate me, he thought, remembering Bella's words. I've got to hurt him. If I don't, she will, and it'll be far worse. I've got to make him hate me, to end our friendship forever.  
  
Sirius shivered in the half-dusk, standing by the frozen Whomping Willow. Remus had gone in just a few moments ago. His transformation would have started by now.  
  
For a moment Sirius toyed with the idea of trying to buy Snape off. He'd give him anything, he thought desperately. Snape could have all his money, his broom, anything he wanted, if he'd walk away and pretend to Bella that Sirius had shown him.  
  
But that wouldn't work, Sirius realized hopelessly. Bella would figure out in about a minute that Snape was lying, or else she'd see Sirius and Remus together and realize that their friendship hadn't ended. Sirius thought about telling Remus to stay away from him, but knew his friend would refuse. There was nothing else for it. He was going to have to go through with this…this task.  
  
Snape appeared in the fog, looking disgustingly eager. "All right, Black, here I am. Where are we headed?"  
  
In answer, Sirius turned to face the tree, which had started to move again. He pointed. "In there."  
  
Snape stared. "I don't have time for this. Where are we going?"  
  
Sirius whipped around to face him, cold with fury. "Do you want me to show you?"  
  
Snape nodded, surprised.  
  
"Then shut your mouth and listen." Sirius spoke softly, with urgency. "Take a stick, a good long one, and reach in and prod that knot." He pointed. "The tree will freeze, and you'll be free to go in and through the passage. Remus…he's at the other end."  
  
"How do I know this isn't a trick to get me clobbered by the tree?" Snape asked suspiciously.  
  
"Look, if you don't want to go then don't go," Sirius said. "But I'm not really in a position to be setting traps for you, am I?"  
  
Snape considered, casting about on the ground for a stick. When he'd found one, he reached in cautiously and touched the knot. The tree shuddered and froze. He turned to Sirius. "You go first."  
  
Sirius turned and walked up to the tree, laid a hand on its bark. Assured, Snape rushed forward and down into the passage. Sirius could hear his footsteps clattering through the tunnel.  
  
Sirius backed away so the tree wouldn't be able to reach him when it sprung to life again. He knelt in the grass, waiting, barely breathing.  
  
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Snape emerged from the tunnel into an abandoned old house. What the hell?  
  
"Lumos," he muttered, lighting his wand. He could hear snuffling noises from upstairs. Was Black playing some elaborate trick on him? Was Lupin here or not?  
  
Upstairs, the snuffling was louder. Snape investigated the rooms carefully. The first three had turned up no result, and he was starting to get really annoyed at Black for sending him down here.   
  
Suddenly he heard a loud howl, one he could identify from detentions in the Forbidden Forest. Werewolf…!  
  
The wolf pounded into view, bearing down on him. Snape was petrified. He couldn't move, he couldn't think…the wolf was getting closer…this was it…  
  
From the side, something barreled into him, something larger and faster than the wolf, and he was falling or flying, propelled along by this creature, the wolf after them…he could smell its breath…howling…Snape screamed in terror…they were in the tunnel…  
  
And suddenly, inexplicably, James Potter was beside him, one hand gripping the arm of Snape's robes, hauling him away…he could hear the wolf howling behind them, but the howls were growing distant now…the wolf couldn't get into the tunnel…  
  
James let go of Snape and stared at him, fear and hatred in his eyes. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"M-me?" Snape was starting to recover. "What are you doing here? Black said Lupin…"  
  
Both boys' eyes widened with understanding.  
  
"He's a werewolf…" Snape said slowly, the possibilities beginning to occur to him. The teachers wouldn't stand for this. Lupin would be gone by tomorrow.  
  
"Sirius?" James said hoarsely. "Sirius sent you down here?"  
  
Snape laughed. "Yeah, that's right. Thought it'd be a bit of a laugh to see me killed by a werewolf, no doubt.  
  
James, leaning against the wall, slid down to sit on the floor. He was overwhelmed by this betrayal. "Sirius…" he whispered. "How could he?"  
  
And outside, on the grass beside the tree, Sirius curled into himself. Remy, I'm so sorry. 


	4. Aftermath

Disclaimer - You know the drill. You don't seriously think I created Harry Potter, do you? Give me a break, I'm not that smart. No, these characters are the sole property of J. Rowling and a number of publishing companies.   
  
A/N -   
  
meheeners - Well you've given me an idea for a possible ending, anyway grin  
  
Lillei - You're right. I kept that in mind writing the last section of this chapter. Let me know what you think.  
  
Versipellis - 10% of zero is approximately equal to a mention in my spankin' new profile. Go check it out.  
  
-Leaf  
  
NEVER ONE TO LEAVE  
  
Remus awoke and immediately wished he hadn't.   
  
Pain hit him like a wall, and he gasped. WHAT!? His mind cried, demanding reason. Why does it hurt so bad? What happened?  
  
The full moon, he remembered dimly. Vaguely, he registered the walls of the Shrieking Shack around him. I transformed…I must have… he remembered James being with him though, and now he was alone. Alone and terrified. What was going on? Where was everyone? And why…why was he so hurt?  
  
Remus tried to sit up, fighting a wave of nausea, and managed to prop himself against a wall. Okay, he thought, forcing himself to focus. The full moon's passed, it must have, because the wolf's gone. Maybe…maybe James went for help or something…or maybe he went for Sirius…Sirius will come…Sirius will help… The thought of his friend was comforting. Sirius would be here soon, and then none of this would matter, he thought firmly. Sirius would make everything all right.  
  
He turned his attention to his body, checking for injuries. It became immediately obvious that he was covered in slashes and bruises. Usually the wolf was fairly calm when James and Sirius were around, and even without them he had only ever chewed at his wrists and ankles in the past. Something must have gone wrong, he thought, suddenly overwhelmed with fear. The wolf went nuts…did it smell blood? Did I attack someone?   
  
His blood ran cold. Where was James?   
  
"Oh god," Remus felt sick. He retched, and the sudden motion pitched his weakened body forward. His face hit the floor and pain exploded through him. Remus screamed in fear and agony. Why wasn't anyone coming?   
  
He reached a hand up to his face and touched it gingerly, and pain shot through him again. What had happened? He tried to move his mouth, but found he couldn't. He blinked. It hurt. He pulled his hand away and found it bloody.  
  
Shaking now from terror and pain, he curled up, knees tucked under him so his face didn't touch the floor. Blood dripped from his nose and mouth and pooled under him, mixing with tears and sweat.  
  
A small, panicked voice came wafting up from downstairs. "Remus!"  
  
Peter! Remus tried to call out to his friend, but could only manage a wordless, choking yowl. A moment later he heard footsteps, running up the stairs, entering the room. "Remus? Hey, mate, it's okay. Everything's all right."  
  
Remus lifted his head. Peter's face twisted in shock and horror, but he composed himself quickly. "Can you walk? Come on, we've got to get you to the hospital wing."  
  
Another voice. "Rem!" It was James, and he wasted no time in pelting upstairs. "Peter, is he okay? Can he walk?" He turned to Remus. "Can you walk, Rem?"  
  
Remus couldn't answer. He struggled to get to his feet, wobbled, and collapsed. Before he hit the floor, Peter and James caught him and hauled him back up. Remus whimpered in fear and pain, clutching James' shoulder, eyes pleading for explanation.  
  
"It's okay," James was struggling to remain calm, Remus knew, but his voice quavered a bit. "Let's get to the hospital wing, okay Rem? And we can talk there."  
  
Remus managed a nod. Peter and James helped him make his way slowly out of the Shack and through the tunnel. Each step was painful, and Remus had to put most of his weight on his friends. They hadn't even attempted any healing spells, which was odd. Sirius had been studying those especially for this purpose, and was always there to clean Remus up for the trip to the hospital wing. What's happening? He wondered fearfully as James and Peter led him up the stone staircase. What went wrong?  
  
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Remus passed out before they reached the hospital wing. James and Peter took him the rest of the way, and were all for refusing to leave, but Madam Pomfrey insisted. "I have a lot of work to do before he can have visitors," she said. "He's in isolation until dusk at least, and then I'm only letting you in if he agrees."  
  
James placed a hand on his friend's forehead and whispered, "Don't worry, Moony. Everything's going to be all right." Then he turned reluctantly and left.  
  
Sirius was sitting just outside, his back to the wall, knees bent, face in his hands. When James emerged, he looked up and called desperately, "How is he, James?"  
  
James wanted to spit in his friend's face. He settled for an angry glare. "Get away from here, Black." Sirius flinched, but did not turn away. "I don't want to see you anywhere near him again, do you understand me?"  
  
"Don't worry," Sirius said, a bitterly ironic smile twisting his face. "You won't."  
  
What the hell did that mean? "Well…good," James said, unsure, and turned away."  
  
"James?"  
  
"What, Black?"  
  
"How is he?"   
  
James stared. Sirius looked pale and frightened, his eyes red, his hair disheveled. "Why are you pretending to care?"  
  
"Please, James," Sirius begged. "I know you hate me, I don't blame you, but I don't care about that right now. I need to know if Remus is going to be all right."  
  
"Yeah, well." James glared, rage building in him. "You might have thought of that before you sent Snape down there. The wolf almost killed him, Sirius, and when it didn't get to him it spent all night tearing itself to bits and charging headfirst into the walls. Remus' face is a mess. He's lost a lot of blood, he's going to have dozens of really nasty scars, he's in a lot of pain, and he's feeling scared, confused, and betrayed. So if that sounds all right to you, then yeah, he's all right."  
  
Tears were running down Sirius' face.  
  
"Just tell me the truth, Sirius," James said, the accusing tone leaving him. He was tired, drained, wanting an end to this nightmare. "Why'd you do it? Why'd you do this to Remus?"  
  
Sirius shook his head.  
  
"I want to understand," James pleaded. "I know you, Padfoot, you're not that kind of person. Please tell me there was a reason. If you tell me, I'll believe you. I trust you. You're my best friend." He knelt, laying a hand on Sirius' shoulder, and struggled to keep from crying. "I don't want to believe you're capable of doing something like this…for no reason at all…"  
  
"I didn't want to…" Sirius whispered. "I knew…I knew it'd hurt him…no other way…"  
  
"You're not making sense!" James shouted in frustration. "WHY? Why, Sirius?"  
  
"I can't!" Sirius screamed, launching himself to his feet so suddenly that James fell backward in alarm. "I can't do this! I can't stand here and make excuses to you!"  
  
James, infuriated, got to his feet as well and grabbed the collar of Sirius' shirt, shoving him up to the wall. "You have no excuses! You're pathetic! You cowardly…  
  
"SHUT UP!" Sirius bellowed. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING, YOU THINK IT'S ALL SO SIMPLE! THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME, IT ISN'T ABOUT YOU, ITS ABOUT REMUS!"  
  
James, shocked into silence, released him. Sirius slid back down to sit, and James knelt beside him.   
  
"Remus," Sirius repeated, choking on the name. "And he's in there, he's hurting, and there's nothing we can do. It's all my fault, and there's nothing I can do." He sighed, looked at James. "It was a prank, James. Just a stupid joke. I never thought it'd go that far."  
  
"A…a prank?"  
  
"Snape was hanging around outside," Sirius said. "The tree was still frozen, and he found the passage. He was bothering me about what was in there, and I wasn't telling, and finally I told him he might as well go look for himself. I didn't think he'd do it."  
  
"Why didn't you stop him?" James struggled to absorb this.  
  
"I dunno," Sirius shrugged uncomfortably. "I was mad."  
  
James glanced at him. "Sirius, is that really what happened?"  
  
"Yeah," Sirius didn't meet his gaze.  
  
"What the hell were you thinking?" James demanded, but the cold fury was gone from his voice. Sirius shrugged. "Well, you'll have to tell Remus tonight. He's going to want to know what happened."  
  
"I know," Sirius said softly.  
  
"He's not going to be happy."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Do you think he'll forgive you?"  
  
Sirius was silent for a long time. Finally he spoke, so softly James could hardly hear: "I hope not." 


	5. Deliberation and Decision

Disclaimer - You know the drill. You don't seriously think I created Harry Potter, do you? Give me a break, I'm not that smart. No, these characters are the sole property of J. Rowling and a number of publishing companies.   
  
A/N -   
  
meheeners - patience, young Padawan! If you haven't noticed, the series is kind of family-centric, so I'm reluctant to kill off any family members before the end. But don't worry, he'll get what's coming to him.  
  
Rin the Kitsune - Don't worry, I update nightly!  
  
Amour-Lily - Wow, I'm so glad you went back and read them all! It really works best as a series.  
  
Sexy Black - It will eventually become clear why Sirius is lying to James. No worries!  
  
Versipellis - An agent is in charge of Booking Me For Gigs. Like autograph signings. Hey, if anyone wants my autograph, talk to Versipellis. snicker  
  
HappyDappyDrunk - Thanks. I too like torturing Sirius.  
  
SP-in-Sirius-Denial - Good question. The way I see it, James doesn't really know what to think. Sirius betrayed Remus, but he's obviously in a lot of pain about it, so James is mad at Sirius, but he feels bad for him too.  
  
AffectedMangoO - Yeah, I was reluctant to write this one cause I know it's been done so many times, but then I figured that since the series takes place in their fifth year I'd better work it in at some point. I'm glad you like it.  
  
Sham Harga - Thanks, glad to have you aboard.  
  
-Leaf  
  
NEVER ONE TO LEAVE  
  
James left Sirius sitting outside the hospital wing and went up to the Gryffindor common room to think. He sat on the floor in front of the fire, staring pensively into the flames and wondering what the hell they were going to do now.  
  
What Sirius had done was monumentally stupid, James thought angrily. Never mind about Snape's life, had he considered what the consequences would be for Remus? Things could have gone really badly. If I hadn't been there… James thought, shuddering. If the wolf had managed to bite or kill Snape, there would have been hell to pay. Remus would almost certainly have been kicked out of school, and possibly arrested. Sirius knew how important Hogwarts had been to Remus, how it had turned his whole life around. How could he have taken such a ridiculous risk? And for what? Just because he'd gotten a little angry?  
  
There's got to be something else, James realized. Something I don't understand yet. Because Sirius isn't that stupid. I know him, and he's not.  
  
James sighed, confused. He was so angry at Sirius, and yet he pitied him. He could see that his friend hadn't really wanted to hurt Remus. He'd never known Sirius to be so distraught - Sirius was usually the one capable of laughing everything off. Sirius was lighthearted, easygoing - he was genuinely horrified at what he'd done, James knew.  
  
But why? He racked his brain in frustration. What could make him do this? Could it actually just be that he was annoyed at Snape?  
  
Why would he lie, though? James shook his head. He didn't exactly come off looking good…unless the truth is worse?  
  
Peter came in, interrupting his thoughts. "He's awake, James."  
  
James bolted up. "How…how do you know?"  
  
"I saw him," Peter sat down, sighing heavily. "He's really upset, James, he wouldn't let Madam Pomfrey treat him, so they had to let me in."  
  
"How is he?" James demanded. "Apart from being upset, I mean…is he okay?"  
  
Peter shrugged and sat down heavily. "I don't know. He's still in a lot of pain, wants to see you and Sirius."  
  
"Did you tell Sirius that?"  
  
"Yeah," Peter sighed, "only he thought he'd better not go in."  
  
"Well, I'm going down there," James said. Peter nodded. "Listen, if Sirius comes back, tell him…" tell him what? "…tell him to wait, okay? I need to talk to him."  
  
"Did he tell you about the prank?"  
  
"Yeah," James sighed, "only I'm not sure that's all there is to it."  
  
"What d'you mean?"  
  
"Sirius might be a jerk sometimes, but he's not stupid. I don't think he'd have sent Snape down there out of thoughtlessness."  
  
Peter's eyes widened. "You think he did it on purpose?"  
  
"I don't know," James groaned. "I don't think he wanted to hurt Remus, but…I just don't know, Pete. I'll have to talk to him."  
  
Peter nodded earnestly. "Don't worry, I'll make sure he stays around here."  
  
James turned and headed for the hospital wing.  
  
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Waking up hadn't hurt nearly as much this time. Remus had found himself in the hospital wing, which had brought back the memory of the incident at the Shrieking Shack. Panicked, he'd demanded to see his friends. He needed to know that everyone was all right, and he wanted his questions answered.  
  
But Peter, for one, hadn't seemed to know the answers. He'd tried to calm Remus down, but he hadn't told him where James or Sirius were or what had happened last night. Eventually he'd run off, looking frightened, and Remus was alone again.  
  
He was lost in thought when James came in, but he pulled himself back immediately. "James…" he said, trying not to move his mouth too much. His face still hurt terribly.  
  
"Hey, Rem." James pulled up a chair beside his bed. "How you feeling, mate?"  
  
"Been better."  
  
"I bet," James said gently. "Hey, you're a right mess, you know."  
  
"I know."  
  
They sat in silence for a moment.  
  
"Where's Sirius?"  
  
James closed his eyes briefly and pained look crossed his face. "He's…outside, Rem."  
  
"I want Sirius…"  
  
"Remus, I need to tell you what happened last night, okay?" James swallowed hard. Remus' attention snapped away from Sirius. Finally, someone was going to tell him what was going on.  
  
"Rem, Snape…Snape got into the Shrieking Shack."  
  
Remus didn't understand. "What?"  
  
"Through the tunnel." James closed his eyes again. "The wolf smelled him, Rem."  
  
Horror surged through Remus, and he lurched up off the bed. "James!"  
  
James caught him just in time and held him as he vomited off the side of the bed. "Shh…" he whispered, stroking his friend's hair. "It's okay, Rem. He's fine. He got out."  
  
Weak and shaking, Remus leaned back. "I didn't…?"  
  
"No," James said gently. "I'm sorry, Rem, I didn't mean to scare you. He's fine."  
  
"But…" Remus realized what this must mean. "But he knows…?"  
  
James bit his lip, looked at the floor. "Yeah."  
  
Remus retched again. James grabbed a glass of water. "Drink, mate. It's okay. We told Dumbledore what happened, and he's made it clear Snape isn't to tell anyone. He's sworn to secrecy."  
  
Remus was numb with shock. The person who hated him more than any other in this school now knew the one thing that could hurt him most. He had never felt so vulnerable in his life. After a moment he became of James on the bed beside him, holding him, and he leaned into his friend gratefully.   
  
And James thought, I can't tell him about Sirius. Not yet. Not until I know what really happened. He's not ready.  
  
Sirius never went back to the Gryffindor common room. Instead he went down and sat by the lake.  
  
He'd been sitting here, one night three years ago, when he'd first noticed the Whomping Willow wasn't moving. That was the night he'd discovered the truth about his friend Remus. He'd spent that entire night facedown on the floor under a bed, hiding from a werewolf. Since then, he'd devoted all his free time to learning healing spells, to becoming an Animagus, to doing whatever he could to help Remus.   
  
And now it would all be taken away from him. He would be robbed of his best friend.   
  
It always came back to family, Sirius thought bitterly. He was never good enough, he was never living up to their expectations. Well, who wants to? Pureblood elitist gits, the lot of them.   
  
He had been horrified to see his younger brother in league with Bella. Regulus and Sirius had been best friends in childhood. They'd grown up trusting each other, relying each other…  
  
And then I was sorted into Gryffindor, Sirius remembered. and a good Black would have been Slytherin. He'd tried to convince his brother, to explain to him the prejudice their parents enforced, to show him that he could choose to be whatever sort of person he wanted. But when Regulus had been sorted into Slytherin, Sirius had known it was over.   
  
Fine, Sirius thought. That's done it. I'm not a good Black, fine. I just won't be a Black anymore. I'll leave.  
  
His mind made up, he went back inside. 


	6. Revelation

Disclaimer - You know the drill. You don't seriously think I created Harry Potter, do you? Give me a break, I'm not that smart. No, these characters are the sole property of J. Rowling and a number of publishing companies.   
  
A/N -   
  
meheeners - I'm thinking of writing a parody in which all my reviewers go lie low at Lupin's. Lie very low. If you take my meaning.  
  
HappyDappyDrunk -Of course I will grin I'm glad you like it.  
  
Rin the Kitsune - He's been having a bad time of it hasn't he? Poor guy.  
  
Lillei - I'm glad you like the twist. Ha ha, I still didn't resolve the cliffhanger snicker   
  
-Leaf  
  
NEVER ONE TO LEAVE  
  
Sirius went straight up to the hospital wing. He needed to see Remus and sort things out before he left.  
  
Outside the room, he paused and looked in. Remus was sitting up in bed, leaning against the headboard and starting vacantly out the window opposite him. He looked utterly drained. Sirius felt his stomach clench at the thought of the pain he'd caused his best friend.  
  
For a moment he almost turned away. James would tell Remus what had happened, Sirius knew he didn't have to do it. He could just leave. That would certainly lose him Remus' friendship.   
  
But he deserves better, Sirius thought. I owe him this one last thing. He'll hear it from me.  
  
Steeling himself, he walked into the room.  
  
Remus looked up, hearing him enter. "Sirius!" He winced, and Sirius noticed with another pang how bruised his face was. He must have been throwing himself against the walls of the Shack all night.  
  
"Hey…" Sirius came over to sit beside his friend. "How are you, Remy?"  
  
"A bit better," Remus grinned. "Madam Pomfrey says I'm running her ragged."  
  
"Yeah, well." Sirius forced a smile. "You look better, mate."  
  
Remus was confused. "Were you here when I was asleep?"  
  
"Er…yeah." Sirius didn't want to tell Remus he'd been sitting on the floor outside the hospital wing all day. That was something a friend would do, not a betrayer.  
  
"I was waiting for you to come," Remus said softly. "I knew once you were here everything would be okay."  
  
Sirius' heart twisted. He turned away.  
  
Remus laid a hand on his arm. "What's wrong, Sirius?"  
  
"Remus…" Sirius swallowed hard. "I have to tell you something."  
  
"Wow, sounds serious." Remus' laugh was a bit forced.  
  
"Remus, did James tell you what happened last night?"  
  
"Oh that," Remus smiled in relief. "Don't worry, mate, he already told me. Snape found his way down into the tunnel and saw the wolf. But it's all right, Dumbledore's sworn him to secrecy." Remus sighed. "Lucky I didn't bite him."  
  
Sirius tried to speak but found he couldn't. He buried his face in his hands.  
  
"Sirius?"  
  
"Remus," Sirius managed. "There's something else you need to know."  
  
"What?" Remus really was afraid now. "Did something else happen?"  
  
"I sent Snape down there."  
  
"Down where?" Remus didn't understand.  
  
"In the tunnel, Remus. I told him to follow you last night. I showed him how to get into the Whomping Willow. He wanted to know where you went every month, and I told him. It's all my fault."  
  
"You…" Remus' eyes were wide with shock. "Sirius…you don't mean…you can't have…"  
  
Sirius had tears in his eyes now. "I'm sorry, Moony, I didn't want to, it…it was just a prank. Just another prank on Snape."  
  
"You sent him?"  
  
"I thought maybe…maybe he'd leave you alone if…"  
  
"You sent him into the Shack?"   
  
Sirius looked up. He had never seen Remus look like this, a mixture of shock and disgust and fury. He wanted to deny it, to take back what he'd said, if only Remus would never look at him this way again. "Yes."  
  
"As a prank? You thought that would be funny?"  
  
Sirius hung his head.   
  
"Get out of here, Sirius," Remus said, his voice breaking.   
  
Sirius nodded and stood to leave. When he'd reached the door, he turned back. "Remus, you know I love you."  
  
"Don't." Remus' face was pained, but his voice was steady. "Don't say that to me. If you loved me, you wouldn't have done this."  
  
I did it because I love you, Sirius thought. I loved you enough to hurt you. And I hate Bella enough to give her exactly what she wants.  
  
Unable to take any more, he turned away and left the hospital wing.  
  
Remus Lupin curled up in his bed and sobbed.  
  
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"Enough!" James bellowed at Sirius as he entered the room. "Enough lies! Sit down and tell me exactly what happened, NOW!"  
  
Sirius ignored James completely, brushing past him. He went to his trunk and began to transfer things to his shoulder bag: a few changes of clothes, quills and parchment, his wand. Grabbing his broom from behind the trunk, he made his way to the window.   
  
"Hey!" James barked.  
  
"James, I'm leaving," Sirius said distractedly. "I'll be back as soon as I can."  
  
"Where the hell do you think you're going?"  
  
"Home."   
  
"No, WAIT." James grabbed Sirius shoulders and shoved him roughly onto the bed. "Sirius, what's going on? You're helping Snape, you betrayed Remus, and now you're taking off in the middle of the night? What aren't you telling me?"  
  
Sirius sighed. "James…don't, okay? I don't have time for this."  
  
James pulled out his wand and pointed it at Sirius. "Make time."  
  
For a moment Sirius considered telling James the truth. But James could not be trusted not to tell Remus. James wouldn't understand the power Bella held. James had a perfect, wonderful family who loved him. He wouldn't know what it was like to have your every move dictated by a family who resented you as much as you did them.  
  
"Look," Sirius said urgently. "Maybe I didn't tell you everything, okay? Maybe there is something more going on. But you'll have to trust me to get it sorted out."  
  
"Trust you like Remus trusted you?" James asked quietly, and Sirius felt slapped.  
  
"Yes," he said firmly. "Trust me like Remus did."  
  
James glared. "Why? Why in the world would I trust you, after what you did?"  
  
Sirius shook his head. "You wouldn't. But trusting me got us all into this nightmare, and if you give me just a little time I might be able to get us out of it. I'm not promising anything, but I'm sure as hell going to try."  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
"No idea." Sirius climbed up into the window ledge and, holding his broom, jumped out. James watched him fall several feet before righting himself on the broom and speeding off into the night.  
  
Peter came pelting up the stairs. "I heard shouting…where's Sirius?"  
  
"Gone," James sighed. "Gone again." 


	7. Secession

Disclaimer - You know the drill. You don't seriously think I created Harry Potter, do you? Give me a break, I'm not that smart. No, these characters are the sole property of J. Rowling and a number of publishing companies.   
  
A/N -   
  
Viewfinder - Wow, glad to hear I made you cry grin Glad you're back.  
  
meheeners - The parody is currently underway, and I think you'll like it. Expect it on Sunday evening if not sooner.  
  
Lillei - There, took care of the cliffhanger for ya!  
  
Versipellis - Thanks for the publicity grin  
  
SP-in-Sirius-Denial - Yeah, that'd be funny though. Sirius goes home and watches some TV, gets out the potato chips… "Yeah, I just got tired of the whole thing."  
  
AffectedMangoO - You've got to show me that dance sometime.  
  
-Leaf  
  
NEVER ONE TO LEAVE  
  
Sirius Black arrived at Grimmauld Place as dawn was approaching. He knew his mother would be asleep, but that wasn't stopping him. He strode up to the front door and ripped it open. It banged against the side of the house so hard that Sirius thought it probably woke the neighbors up.  
  
From upstairs came a howl of indignation. A moment later, Mrs. Black came flying down the stairs. Her hair was everywhere and her eyes burned into Sirius, but he held his ground.  
  
"What do you mean by coming here in the dead of night?!" She demanded, spit flying into Sirius' face.  
  
Sirius set his jaw. "Did you tell Regulus to stop me seeing Remus Lupin?"  
  
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT SCHOOL…!"  
  
She stopped abruptly. Sirius had drawn his wand and was pointing it at her levelly.  
  
"You're not going to use that on me," she sneered.  
  
"Sit." Sirius pointed to a chair. Surprisingly, she did. "Did you tell Regulus to stop me seeing Remus?"  
  
"Who the hell do you thing you are?" She whispered, her voice cold with fury. "How dare you threaten me? Why, if your father were here…"  
  
"Yeah, well, he's not," Sirius interrupted. "It's just you and me now, Mother. Not even Regulus to back you up."   
  
"You will not use that wand on me…"  
  
"No, probably not," Sirius agreed. "But do you really want to test me, Mother? Just tell me if you told Regulus to stop me seeing Remus or not."  
  
"Fine," his mother hissed. "I did. Of course I did. I'll have no son of mine fraternizing with werewolves, it's a disgrace! You're a disgrace to the name of Black! I've accepted your being in Gryffindor…"  
  
"You didn't 'accept' that!" Sirius found himself shouting. "You locked me in my room all summer! You begged Dumbledore to move me to Slytherin! You haven't looked upon me as a son since the day of my sorting, so what does it matter what I do now?"  
  
"I may not see you as a son," she snarled, "but you still bear the name of Black. Whatever you do reflects on the family. Can you imagine the shame your poor cousin Bella felt when she learned you were running around with a werewolf? Why, the girl was in tears. She is a loyal, successful Black, as is your brother, and I'll not have their lives tarnished with your choices."  
  
Sirius wanted to hit her, to break her arms, to scream that Remus was and would always be a much better person than Regulus or Bella. But when he spoke, his voice was surprisingly calm.  
  
"All right, mother."  
  
She looked up at him, surprised. "All right?"  
  
"All right," Sirius agreed, nodding. "I won't tarnish the name of Black any more."  
  
"That remains to be seen."  
  
"Nope," Sirius continued, "I'm done with the name of Black as of right now. I'm moving out."  
  
"Moving out!" she shrieked. "You most certainly will not be moving out!"  
  
"Oh, come on!" Sirius shouted. "First of all, I don't think you can stop me since I'm armed and you're not. But why wouldn't you be glad to be rid of me? I'm a shame to your name, remember? Tomorrow morning you can start spreading the news that I took off in the night, that I'm a traitor and you wouldn't have me in the house any more, and that I'm no longer any son of yours."  
  
"You'll go to that old coot," she howled madly, and Sirius knew she meant Dumbledore. "You'll tell him…you'll tell him things…secrets…"  
  
Sirius snorted. "What secrets do you think I'm going to tell him? You think I'll tell how you've made me live in the attic for the last five years? You think I'll tell him how you don't feed me during the summer, so I have to go out and find my own meals?" He stared at his mother, who'd gone white in the face. "That's it, isn't it? You're keeping me here because you're afraid I'll tell Dumbledore you've been abusing me and you'll be arrested."  
  
"You'll twist it all around," she said bitterly. "You'll make out as though you didn't deserve what you got…nasty, filthy, worthless…"  
  
Sirius had tuned her out. He had suddenly remembered the day he'd rescued Remus from his father's house. Remus had been badly beaten, and Sirius had been furious, but Remus' father Raymond had simply begged them not to turn him in for abusing his son. In fact, Sirius remembered, Raymond had planned to remove Remus from school to keep him from telling Dumbledore what was going on.  
  
Remus forgave his father, Sirius remembered. He left home, but he forgave Raymond. Because Raymond was truly sorry, he cared about Remus. But my mother's just said I deserved what I got.  
  
He laughed harshly, cutting her off. "Mother, you're in no position to keep me here, but I'll do you a deal. Once I've gone, I won't tell Dumbledore how I was treated. I'll tell everyone I left because I wanted to get my own place or something."  
  
"Why?" she asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes at him.  
  
"Because I want something from you," he said evenly.  
  
She laughed bitterly. "What makes you think I'm going to do you any favors, boy?"  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. Wasn't he making it clear enough. "Because if you don't, Mother, I WILL tell Dumbledore what you did, and I'll press charges and see you're packed off to Azkaban. That won't reflect to well on the name of Black, now will it?"  
  
There was a moment of silence.  
  
"Fine," she snapped. "What do you want me to do?"  
  
"Tell Bella and Regulus they're not to let anyone find out about Remus. If anyone finds out, I'll have the dementors on you faster than you can say 'child abuse.'" She looked up at him, glaring furiously, but he met her gaze. "It doesn't do you any shame to have me 'fraternizing with a werewolf' if you've told the entire wizarding community that you've disowned me. Everybody wins."  
  
She scowled, but Sirius knew she had no choice. "All right, I'll tell them."  
  
Sirius turned to go. "Remember," he called back, "If anyone finds out about Remus…"  
  
"You're the most disappointing son I could have had."  
  
Sirius twisted to face her and mock-saluted. "It's been a pleasure."  
  
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James knocked. "Rem, can I come in?"  
  
Remus turned slowly to face James. "I guess."  
  
James walked over slowly and sat on his friend's bed. "Madam Pomfrey says you can leave the hospital wing tomorrow morning."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Your face looks a lot better," James tried. "You can hardly see the bruises anymore."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
James sighed. "Are you still thinking about Sirius, Rem?"  
  
Remus' eyes filled with tears. "I don't understand, James…how could he? I don't understand!"  
  
"I don't know, Rem," James said softly.   
  
"I was always so sure of him," Remus cried. "I knew he'd never hurt me, he'd do anything to make things all right for me…he's always done that, James. I don't understand why he'd do this."  
  
"Shhh…" James pulled his friend into an embrace. Remus leaned into his shoulder, crying, and James rubbed his back. "It's okay, Rem, I know it hurts. I know it's hard."  
  
"Do you know what might have happened?" Remus choked out. "If I'd managed to kill Snape, or bite him…"   
  
"I know, Rem," James soothed.  
  
"I couldn't live with myself." Remus shuddered. "They might have actually just killed me anyway, you know, it's not unprecedented for a werewolf to be sentenced to death for killing during the full moon."  
  
James, out of reassuring words, held his friend tighter.  
  
"And Sirius knew…" Remus said softly. "He was there when I was meeting my parents for the first time, when I thought I'd killed my brother. Sirius was there, he knew what a wreck I was, how badly I took it. He was there when Dumbledore told us my parents would be within their rights to call for the death penalty." Remus sobbed suddenly, and James moved a hand to his shoulder, pulling him closer. "And it was Sirius who went to the library…found out I was innocent…"  
  
"It's okay," James whispered, desperate to help. "I've got you, Rem, I'm here."  
  
Remus threw his head back as the pain of Sirius' betrayal overwhelmed him, and howled "WHY?!" 


	8. Family

Disclaimer - You know the drill. You don't seriously think I created Harry Potter, do you? Give me a break, I'm not that smart. No, these characters are the sole property of J. Rowling and a number of publishing companies.   
  
A/N - Since you were all so let down by the lack of emotion at the end of my last story, I emo'd it up here. Let me know what you think.  
  
This is the conclusion to the series. While there will be another story, it's not part of this set, so let me know how you like the series as a whole as well as this chapter.  
  
That also means I get a break from the nightly updates! The parody I promised will be up tomorrow night, and after that I'm taking a few days off. The first chapter of the next story will be up no later than Friday night.  
  
Thanks for sticking with the series! I really appreciate all my regular reviewers, most especially meheeners, Lillei, SP-in-Sirius-Denial, Happy Dappy Drunk, and AffectedMangoO. Not to mention my new agent, Versipellis.  
  
-Leaf  
  
NEVER ONE TO LEAVE  
  
"Remy?"  
  
Remus rolled onto his side and did not respond.  
  
"Remy, can we talk?"  
  
"No," Remus whispered hoarsely.  
  
"Right, you heard him," James stood abruptly from where he'd been sitting, out of the way on his own bed. "Out."  
  
"No, I'm not leaving," Sirius insisted. "Remy…"  
  
"Don't call me that."  
  
"Out!" James said, more firmly now, shoving Sirius backward. Sirius fell back a few steps but did not rise to James' wordless challenge.   
  
Remus lay in bed shaking. He'd been released from the hospital wing a few hours ago and had come straight back to bed, hoping things would make sense when he woke up. Instead he'd awakened to find Sirius back and the situation more confusing than ever.  
  
"James, you've got to let me explain!" James had backed Sirius up to the wall and was glaring furiously at him. "You wanted answers, right? And I'm ready to give them! Please just let me talk!"  
  
"Fine," James snapped. "We'll talk. In the common room. I won't let you hurt Remus anymore."  
  
"I'm not going to hurt him!" Sirius insisted. "He has to know, James, he has to understand!"  
  
Remus sighed, twisting back to face his friends. "Let him stay, James." As though it could possibly matter what Sirius had to say.  
  
Sirius ran and knelt beside Remus' bed. "Remy, listen, it was my family. They're horrible, you know, I've told you…"  
  
"Yeah," Remus didn't try to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "You've told me."  
  
"But it's all right now! I've run away, I've quit my family. So everything's going to be…"  
  
"What?" Remus looked at Sirius for the first time. "You ran out on your family?"  
  
"Yes!" Sirius smiled hopefully. "See, it was all their…"  
  
Remus let out a harsh, humorless laugh. "God, Sirius. You're so ungrateful, you know?"  
  
"What?" Sirius asked confused.   
  
"I know you didn't like your family very much, for whatever reason, but I never thought you'd be selfish enough to just throw them out. You know, I spent half my life searching for a family. I'd do anything to have what you've never wanted.   
  
"Remy…" Sirius began.  
  
"No!" Remus screamed, a sob escaping him. "You know how much family means to me, and you don't even seem to understand how lucky you are! Don't you know what it means, being family? It means you'll do anything for each other, protect each other, be a team. You can't just give that up! But you're so selfish, you told Snape…you…"  
  
He broke down, crying. James moved to the bed protectively. "I think you can go now, Sirius."  
  
"NO!" Sirius hollered, making both his friends jump. "God, you think it's so easy for me don't you? Not everyone has James' perfect family, you know. Families are just people, Remus, just a bunch of people, and sometimes you draw the short straw and you get stupid people, or mean people. And sometimes you get people who care so much about nobility and honor and respect that they'd shun their own son just for being different!"   
  
Sirius was sobbing himself by now. James was still glaring at him, one arm tight around Remus' shoulders.  
  
"But you don't care…" Sirius whispered. "They made me hurt you Remus, and I'm sorry, I'm so damn sorry I want to die. They made me let Snape into the Shack, and I hated them for it so I left."  
  
There was a stunned silence.  
  
"They couldn't make you," James said doubtfully. Remus was staring at Sirius, who had drawn his knees up to his chest and buried his face in his hands.  
  
"Yeah, they could," Sirius said softly. "They'd have done worse to Remus if I hadn't done it."  
  
"What…what were they going to do?" Remus asked.   
  
"My cousin Bella swore she'd tell the whole school you're a werewolf unless I ended our friendship." Sirius sighed, looking up. "I'm so, so sorry Remus. I didn't want to. I'd never hurt you, you've got to know that."  
  
Remus nodded slowly.  
  
James wasn't quite convinced. "Why would Bella want to end your friendship.?"  
  
Sirius paused. He didn't want to confess the real reason - it would only hurt Remus more to think that the Blacks were ashamed to have their son hanging around him.  
  
"Just to be mean, I suppose," Sirius said. "But I've taken care of it. Now that I left my family, my mother will stop Bella from doing anything to us."  
  
"How can she?" Remus quavered. "I…I don't want everyone to know, Sirius…"  
  
"Oh, Remy, I know you don't," Sirius came over and sat at the foot of Remus' bed. "Don't worry, I've got leverage."  
  
"What leverage?"  
  
Sirius forced a grin. "If she tells anyone, I'll go to Dumbledore and say she's an abusive parent. Apparently you can go to Azkaban for not feeding your children."  
  
"She didn't feed you?!" Remus said indignantly. Sirius felt a rush of relief. Remus still cared.  
  
"I got food other ways," he explained. "I wouldn't have starved or anything."  
  
"Sirius…"  
  
"Hey, it's okay." Sirius laid a hand on Remus' arm, and Remus did not pull away. "I'm not a part of that family anymore."  
  
"But…" Remus frowned. "Where'll you go? During the holidays, I mean."  
  
"I dunno," Sirius said uncomfortably, realizing he hadn't thought that far ahead. "Where's that place you go? I could…"  
  
"You'll stay with me."  
  
Sirius turned. James was looking at him oddly.  
  
"Why…why didn't you tell me?" James asked, his voice breaking. "I've been horrible to you…"  
  
"You were protecting Remus," Sirius said firmly. "Just like I was." He paused. "Did you mean that, about staying with you?"  
  
"Both of you," James said. "My mum and dad won't mind. Neither of you is going back to being abused and starved anymore. And I'm not having you at some muggle orphanage either. You're going to be part of a family."  
  
Sirius felt his eyes filling with tears. He turned away, trying to conceal them. "James…"  
  
"We're family," James insisted.  
  
"Yeah," Remus grinned slowly. "We are, aren't we."  
  
"All that stuff you said about family being there for each other, protecting each other," said James, "we do that. We're family."  
  
"Family," Sirius said slowly, tasting the word without hate for the first time. His face broke into a broad smile. "Yeah. Family."  
  
The boys embraced.  
  
END 


End file.
